Since Monday(25-Aug-2008) I'm so so sick!! Really can't take MJ & wiN of my head. Even the song "AND THE FIRE RAGED!!" got stuck in my ear. OH!! Can't believe i don't feel like eating for almost a week time. For sure, i fit my self with lunch. But dinner, not really. Only force my self to have 2 slice of bread.
With the power of daimoku, things get better each day. As in Tuesday, i still cry, but only when people asked, "so how's your holiday?". arh~!! can't help my self again!! It totally drag me back into hell. I stopped crying since Wednesday. Time and daimoku is the best cure for sure. I add on my chanting and amazingly, I ended up chanting for 2 hours. Sometimes even hit up to 2H 30M.
But time ain't enough for me. Will be facing quiz and test in a week time. I lose my concentration. Couldn't study at all. My heart is feeling so tight. I can't released it.(feels like a cramp on my chest) At that time, i only think of daimoku. But Joey is catching a rest, I can't be disturbing her. I then message MJ, but it isn't helping. Then a wisdom came across my mind. It's Cheng Ling. I went to her door but found that her knob was lock. ARHH~!!! (help!! no way man!! com'on how!?) I immediately grab my phone and sms Cheng Ling. I know she's sleeping. But i really need to chant right away. I know she would open the door for me. YES! She really did open her door and let me in. I know I'm disturbing her, I'm sorry. After chanting for half an hour. I felt so much better and get set my mood back to stable. THANK YOU CHENG LING. REALLY THANK YOU! YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO ME THAT BIG FAVOR. THANK YOU!
Soon things get better, I got my perfect smile back on my face when i went for a Batu Pahat Malam Mesra practise. There i met a few Soka friends(non-SGI members) who reminds me of MJ n wiN. Talking to them is like talking to MJ n wiN, it really brings me back to life. So great!! Cheer-up MENDY ONG!!
My life came back to normal until this morning..
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15 comments:
Dear sis, reading your blog... i was almost cry with you in the office... Thank you for leaving us the 2 cutie and thumbs up juniors... i can felt the bond between u n them, just like the bond with our beloved Sensei... I am proud of you sis... Must continue the challenges courageously.. i also facing some challenges here, and your victory reports and sharing always gave me a lot of hope and courage. Thanks! Lets continue +oil sis!!!
THANX SIS!
U mean Alvin? okay. No one can understand better than us ryte?! I don't know what happen to me. It mus be that two kids!! 1 2 cekik them d!!
I really appreciate them. They are the one who make me growth so much. Compared to my first 7 weeks here, nothing much to challenge. They created challenges for me. Perhaps, its too tough!! I almost can't handle it. Till now, sometimes i still felt like crying when MJ sms me.
I must not felt this bad after my next break in Pg. Its really killing me!
Ya ya, no one can truly understand the feeling than us, hahaa...
but is not only him, is more than that. Is not easy to challenge how to fulfill our life, create the values in whatever we doing. and so, I am so thankful that I have Gohonzon, Sensei and comrades with us while we struggling.
Ya, they are growing, Vivian also growing, and ofcz, we also cannot "su ho yi lang" +oil +oil ;p
hana! of coz la!! where can lose 1!!
I know its so the very tough!! arh~!! jia yew!!
Whenever i gav up on my study. I tot of MJ n wiN. If i give up, then they'l giv up. at that time, i can't help them. coz i myself hav no diff wit them. so.. i'll not giv up!!
CREATE VALUE!! u also won't giv up 1!! thank u for the support sis!!
Yes, leading by example, only when we do it, then only we can lead them correctly.
Sensei says, "When one takes full responsibility, one's true greatness will manifest. That is when one's true strength wells forth. "
Though they are our juniors, but they are our strength to grow further. You too is my strength my dear sis ;p
Hey Ong Wan Mei,
ALWAYS and I mean it...ALWAYS knock on my door if you need to chant.(I shouldn't use the word pray)Hehe..It's not disturbing at all the other day.Seriusly...I wasn't paying much attention cause I was way too tired but I did take a few peek at you.Lol...EVERYBODY! YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE! She's so INTO it. It makes feel embarrased of myself.I was LYING on the bed. You were KNEELING down on your kness.Gosh...
Anyway, I will always welcome you to do the chanting (without me ler..Hehe..I'm slow and 'tersekat-sekat)After all, you are the one that expose me to it a little.
Cheerio!
LCL.. I really need to thank you from the bottom of heart. Allowing someone to disturb our rest, isn't pleasant at all. Really thank you!
Actually, the other day, I did felt like commit suicide. Knocking my head to the wall until it burst off! don't worry.. I'll never do that. NEVER!! If i jst die like that, then what is the use of me practicing Nichiren Buddhism. This Buddhism's power is ultimate! Keeps me strong and go on with determination.
Always feel free to practice this buddhism along with us. Chanting really did help alot! It make me so positive.
:) It's time for ur sun to rise..
CHEER-UP!
Btw, my life(since i was 9yrs old) & my band's moto:
*HOPE *CHEERFUL *JOY
*CLEAR OBJECTIVE
*NEVER GIVE UP!!
dear Guat-guat..
one word: GRATITUDE.
Let's move on wit our life.. Thanks so much to Kotekitai sister.
As sensei said "pia mia" in doing everything. Must always do the best if we really wanna do. Try isn't enough. But to put full life force into it. HI!!! I can!
THANK YOU.
Yes! Fighto!
lets live up our mission and KK spirit.
just have some sharing with Peik Hoon last night and reminded me 1 thing which is so important!!
"if you want to know what is SGI, what is Kotekitai, what is FeiYang?? by just looking at me, you will know! Cz I myself is SGI,is Sensei's disciple, is Kotekitai, is FeiYang!"
Lets push ourselves to the limit to gain infinitely!
Fighto!!
To your fren Cheng Ling,
Though i dont know you, but is nice to meet you here and i am happy that Mendy have your support there.
thanks for your care to Mendy!
Reply to guat:
Hello there...She told me I have a message. Don't have to thank me. I'll be embarrassed.Hehe..Well, it's basically a type of i-care-for-u and u-care-for-me kinda life here in uni. She's secretly supporting me. (I know that Wan Mei. And I thank you)
hahha... okok.. our friendship community grown.. thanks to guat & cheng ling. :)
1mei, you are lucky to have cl with you... how i wish i am with all of you there... life ain't nice with you guys...i guess i feel odd when people around me speaks mandarin... i am glad when i find someone that can speak hokkien or eng with me...
don't be so emo d... you will be coming back next week... be happy.. hope to see you guys... make sure you don't clash ur appointments ya... hehe...
dear shan..
wahaha... i ok d le.. "turn poison into medicine"-its what i learn since i was a kid at the Gakkai's actvt. x worry.. haha... Its a kick for me to move forward in my life.
okok.. karaoke at The Shan's Place..
cheer alwayz!!
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